That night was a night like every other one but little did I know it was going to mark a change in my life.. So it happened that the men of the night came to my room in my hostel, stole from me, beat me and raped me not once but countless times. They took turns having their way with me, took pictures of me while they raped me and laughed. I screamed, shouted, cried, clawed at them and begged for mercy but all to no avail, no one came to my rescue.. No one heard me or pretended not to. After they had had their fill, satisfied themselves with my body, stole my virginity, my virtue, they left me for dead. I woke up the next morning in the hospital, crying, with pains all over my body and I asked myself, why me? I screamed, shouted and asked if there was any God at all in the world and why this happened to me..
Four months later I was diagnosed of HIV. In trying to keep myself pure, I got stained from someone;s ill-gotten sins. What cruelty life brought to me. Do I let this weigh me down, do I let it destroy my life more than it already is or do I fight, make a stand and say no circumstances that would ruin me. Where do I start from? Who do I tell? And just as I realized the end of my story, was someone's beginning. I decided to either save myself, or remain unsaved. And just as every night, I try to get some sleep, I wish I was in coma, I wish I had some terrible accident and suffered some form of amnesia, just to get rid of such thoughts. My whole me was raped, my head was raped. As I shared my story, the other lady in the room started hers just where I ended mine. For her, it was in this manner.
'I got back home and found my dad's friend playing cards, and they were all drunk. They tied me up and I was raped by all 5 men including my dad. The worst part of it was, every night he was horny, I became his pride of destruction. In every single moment, I see it happening in front of me, behind me, next to me, inside me every single day. As my father climbs the pulpit to give the congregation a message, I have only one thought in mind, Killing him. In my tears, In my sorrows, no one believes my story. They talk of the rejection of hell when he preaches, while he comes home and rains hell on me day and night.
Hearing this girls story, I was shocked as to how life could be for her, how life could be for me, how life could be for those going through similar things that she and I had faced.
We hesitate to help our fellow man even when we know he needs help, hesitate to show love to those who just need a little show of love to assure them that there is hope out there for them. Why, because we find it difficult to feel all these things and even when we do, we shut it down, be in denial but we can change that. How do I tell people like me or people who have been through worse situations or are going through worse situations that it won't always be like that but that there's a way to make it all go away, a way to make the world a better place only if we can see these words as part of ourselves.
Faith as we all know is an undying believe in something or someone. It's having that confidence that the impossible can be achieved regardless of the present situation. Hope is that feeling you have that something good is going to happen, an earnest expectation of things to come. Love is an intense affection towards someone, it doesn't discriminate, doesn't judge. It has no special way of expression, love is beautiful, it encompasses all things... Hope, faith and love can guide us in our ways, our daily lives, makes us to be better people only if we believe in them and not hesitate to express them. Why do we hesitate to believe in these words irrespective of our situations? Why so we shun these feelings? Why do we forget them in our time of rest or think little of them? Why do we feel we can do without them? Have faith that greater things are yet to come, hope that better things await you, love like never before because it encompasses all things and make a difference in your life, your family and your country. So I picked up the pieces of my life and surged forward.
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