In every man's imagination of a perfect woman, which truly never exist, I found myself exceptional from every other woman. My trouble was I got excited about nothing and then married him. His words were special, he was kind, his eyes were beautiful, they were wild, crazy, like some animal peeking out of a forest on fire. He had the quality of masculine confidence, his looks left me cold, and as I went straight to my knees with his sexy charisma, I played that dangerous invitation to play with him. In spending my time with him, he became everything I wished for. And everything I saw I regretted, everything I witnessed was like a line filled with many zeros.
I got married to the man of my dreams, well, not just the man of my dreams, the man I lost my virginity to. And in living a wonderful life with one person, I believed in the existence of trust, the existence of patience, the existence of a loving husband. Everything happened fast, and in that 12 years of marriage, I thought I knew everything but everything I knew was nothing. I wasted my time in looking for the perfect lover, rather than creating the perfect love. In all these years, I never knew what true sexual satisfaction was, because I only had my years with one partner. Sex was described to me by a friend as a means of having the best fun in the world without laughing. And I wondered why in those 12 yrs of marriage, our sexual time only lasted when he came. I watched movies and saw how ladies were kissed on the necks, kissed by their ears, and kissed for a pretty long time. I wanted to learn all of this with him, was I inexperienced? And just as I needed to accumulate more more and more for me to be satisfied, his desires became less. I sought every practical lesson, read books, wild books, I became confused, what went wrong. Why do people experience true sexual satisfaction and I never did, what does it feel like?
I learned something in my past, ''do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not'', and then I talked to my husband about this. But he always found a way to change the subject. He distant himself from me, when it came to sex, he said nothing. I concluded I knew nothing of any sort. But one day, my husband came home from work, and pushed me while in the kitchen and kissed me endlessly. With his eyes closed, and mine opened, his fingers stroked the inside of my wrists and I burst into flames. I have never experienced this before, and he made excellent love to me, and I experienced the first true sexual satisfaction from my husband. It was time to tell my friends about it, and I did. My first true sexual satisfaction I got during the 12 yrs of my marriage only happened once, it happened in the 7th year. And that was the end. During the final days of my marriage, I felt my husband had affairs with other women, and that I was inexperienced enough not to understand what true satisfaction was. Till I found out why and what he did to me all the 12 yrs of my marriage.
On one special day, I decided to trail my husband to know who he was having an affair with. I noticed he received so many text messages from someone, and I needed to know who that person was. I just needed to get my head straight. Why would he do this to me? I have never been with anyone. He deflowered me, and I have never been attracted to no one, never, just him. Why would he treat me this way. And just when I was in tears, hoping to find my husband with another woman, I found him with another man. I saw them get into a hotel together, and I asked the receptionist after a while what both men were doing together. She said, 'they are lovers'. Well, I couldn't believe what I heard. I waited a little while at the hotel premise and just couldn't wait any longer. I walked up their room where they were lodged and forced it open, and saw both of them making love, or getting sexually satisfied. My 12 yrs was shattered. His explanation was simple, he can only make true love to me after he has had sex with a man. He can only imagine what he had done with the man before he can truly satisfy me. I longed for him, I got him, damn it, my 12 yrs all gone. In my 12 yrs of marriage, my husband had sex with men before he could have sex with me, in my 12 yrs of marriage, something was more evil than the devil, it is what the poor have, what the rich lacks, and when one eats it, they die, it was nothing.
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